The Real Adoption Story (part 2)
Little victories. We are rejoicing in the tiniest of miracles that happens every day with our new son.
The past few days have stretched me and my faith to new heights and depths. God has held me in the palm of His hand, and kept me pressing on when my body and my emotions couldn't go another step.
We are beginning to figure out how to parent our 9-year-old son. Of course, this is something that will be constantly changing based on his age, abilities, technology, therapies, and maturity. But for now, we are slowly navigating the emotional waters of an abandoned and orphaned child with special needs. The waters are turbulent. The waves can come crashing from every side and each moment can feel like a giant wave is about engulf and capsize your ship. Then, as unexpectedly as it had started, waters calm, and the sun comes out. Our Finn has big emotions. He is jubilant one minute, and then inconsolable the next. It might be over a piece of gum, or that his hotel key card wasn't put in his backpack at the very moment it was requested, or he can't play on the iPad. Lest you think that this isn't normal, let me go ahead and just inform you that the young Chinese boy that had been adopted by another family who is at the same hotel lost his ever-loving mind because his mama cut his banana in half. A banana. We empathized with them, and couldn't help but laugh because of the ridiculousness of it all, but again, it really isn't about the banana.
These kids have experienced so much trauma. The trauma of being abandoned by their parents, then years in an orphanage and/or foster homes, to being ripped out of the only home(s), they have ever known and into the arms of total strangers who look, smell, and speak differently than them is unfathomable. Some don't even know that they are being adopted until the day they meet their adoptive family.
So, as the days creep on, we see the redemption story of adoption unfolding in front of our very eyes. We see this precious soul's hard exterior beginning to crack. We see hope. We see God in the details. We see ourselves becoming a family.
We know that we have some very trying days ahead. There will be many challenges and may victories. We will cry tears of joy and frustration, heartache and victory.
Adoption is hard. Harder than I ever imagined. Is it worth it? Absolutely. I look at my son's face, and I know that he is ours. He was meant to be ours from before the foundations of the earth. I am incredibly grateful to his birthmother for giving him life, and for giving us a son, and I am in awe that God would chose us to be his parents.
If Finn ever reads the words, I hope he takes away this: You are loved and wanted. You were chosen for us, and we were called by our loving and merciful God to make you a part of our family. These first days are emotional, exhausting, and worth every second, even if it is hard to recognize in the midst of the hardest moments. God has big plans for you. I just know it. Regardless of your past, your special needs, or any other challenges you may face in this world, you are right where you are for a greater purpose than yourself. You are here and you are loved because you are a gift from God. He placed you in our care because that is where you were always supposed to be...it just took 9 years to make this story happen, and we can't wait for the Ever After.
Footnote: I am a huge proponent of adoption, and regardless of the challenges that we face, bringing a child home and into a family is never a mistake. God calls us to do hard things, and I believe that the harder the things he calls us to do, the more we experience His glory and goodness.
I love the saying, "God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called". We are not equipped to handle the emotional fragility of our child, but God is guiding us everyday and we are figuring it out. We are in a foreign country and smack dab in the middle of culture shock with our new child and we are figuring it out. If that isn't a miracle, I don't know what is.
The past few days have stretched me and my faith to new heights and depths. God has held me in the palm of His hand, and kept me pressing on when my body and my emotions couldn't go another step.
We are beginning to figure out how to parent our 9-year-old son. Of course, this is something that will be constantly changing based on his age, abilities, technology, therapies, and maturity. But for now, we are slowly navigating the emotional waters of an abandoned and orphaned child with special needs. The waters are turbulent. The waves can come crashing from every side and each moment can feel like a giant wave is about engulf and capsize your ship. Then, as unexpectedly as it had started, waters calm, and the sun comes out. Our Finn has big emotions. He is jubilant one minute, and then inconsolable the next. It might be over a piece of gum, or that his hotel key card wasn't put in his backpack at the very moment it was requested, or he can't play on the iPad. Lest you think that this isn't normal, let me go ahead and just inform you that the young Chinese boy that had been adopted by another family who is at the same hotel lost his ever-loving mind because his mama cut his banana in half. A banana. We empathized with them, and couldn't help but laugh because of the ridiculousness of it all, but again, it really isn't about the banana.
These kids have experienced so much trauma. The trauma of being abandoned by their parents, then years in an orphanage and/or foster homes, to being ripped out of the only home(s), they have ever known and into the arms of total strangers who look, smell, and speak differently than them is unfathomable. Some don't even know that they are being adopted until the day they meet their adoptive family.
So, as the days creep on, we see the redemption story of adoption unfolding in front of our very eyes. We see this precious soul's hard exterior beginning to crack. We see hope. We see God in the details. We see ourselves becoming a family.
We know that we have some very trying days ahead. There will be many challenges and may victories. We will cry tears of joy and frustration, heartache and victory.
Adoption is hard. Harder than I ever imagined. Is it worth it? Absolutely. I look at my son's face, and I know that he is ours. He was meant to be ours from before the foundations of the earth. I am incredibly grateful to his birthmother for giving him life, and for giving us a son, and I am in awe that God would chose us to be his parents.
If Finn ever reads the words, I hope he takes away this: You are loved and wanted. You were chosen for us, and we were called by our loving and merciful God to make you a part of our family. These first days are emotional, exhausting, and worth every second, even if it is hard to recognize in the midst of the hardest moments. God has big plans for you. I just know it. Regardless of your past, your special needs, or any other challenges you may face in this world, you are right where you are for a greater purpose than yourself. You are here and you are loved because you are a gift from God. He placed you in our care because that is where you were always supposed to be...it just took 9 years to make this story happen, and we can't wait for the Ever After.
Footnote: I am a huge proponent of adoption, and regardless of the challenges that we face, bringing a child home and into a family is never a mistake. God calls us to do hard things, and I believe that the harder the things he calls us to do, the more we experience His glory and goodness.
I love the saying, "God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called". We are not equipped to handle the emotional fragility of our child, but God is guiding us everyday and we are figuring it out. We are in a foreign country and smack dab in the middle of culture shock with our new child and we are figuring it out. If that isn't a miracle, I don't know what is.
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