I thought I would pop on here and answer a few questions that we get asked (or comments that are made and how we respond).
Q: What made you adopt?
A: God. Straight up. We had discussed adoption several years ago, and even went to an informational meeting at Buckner. That day, we decided that we loved the idea, but it was not the right time, and we were not on the same page. Tyler wanted a child that had a rough background and needed a fresh start, and a family to love and care for him/her. Foster to adopt was even an option for him. I, on the other hand, wanted a baby. I didn't want to deal with the baggage that came from a child that had been hurt, abused, or abandoned and had seen/heard/experienced major trauma. It was too much for my heart to handle, and I was honestly terrified for our own biological kids. Fast forward to September...
Q: How did you know who you wanted to adopt?
A: Again, God. We hadn't even spoken of adoption since the day at Buckner. I was flipping through Facebook on my phone one Friday night, and I scrolled across a picture of this sweet little Asian boy on my friend's page. She had adopted a precious little girl from China recently, and had posted a boy's picture and story on her page to bring awareness, and best case scenario, have someone reach out to bring him a forever family. The minute I saw his face, I stopped scrolling. My heart raced, tears filled my eyes, and God VERY clearly put these words on my heart: "That is YOUR son." It wasn't audible. It was simply that I KNEW in that moment that he was supposed to be part of our family. I can't possibly explain the miracle that took place at that very moment, but I hope and pray that you all feel that at some point in your life. It is the most peaceful, and amazing feeling you can imagine this side of heaven. From that moment, I knew. Tyler hadn't heard that same clear voice, but I'll let him tell his story on another day. It is equally as amazing.
Q: Aren't you worried about what you are doing to your family?
A: Short answer, no. Read THIS and you will know why.
Q: Why international? Why not adopt a child from the U.S.?
A: Again, WE didn't chose Finley, God did. Would we have chosen an 8-year-old boy with special needs from a country across the world? No. Do I ever doubt that he is supposed to be a part of our family? Never. God doesn't make mistakes. Finley isn't a mistake, and it is no mistake that I was scrolling through Facebook that Friday in September and saw his face and fell in love HARD for absolutely no other reason than God ordained it ALL.
Q: Have you met him? Does he know he's being adopted? So, you're just going to get him and bring him home?
A: No, no, and yes. We have not met him. We have seen pictures and videos and have his history file. We know he can walk with the assistance of a walker. He can walk up stairs holding on to the rail. We have heard him speak and sing, and it is the most beautiful sound. His voice is so sweet and soft and his dimples are the cutest! He won't know he is being adopted until close to when we go get him. It stinks, but it also protects the child in case something happens and the adoption doesn't go through. I makes sense, but it is hard to think of him there at the orphanage with no more hope of being adopted than months ago when he was pleading to have a family. Breaks our hearts to be honest. Yes, we are going to meet him, pick him up form the meeting place, and he is all ours. It seems crazy, but the same thing happens when you have a baby. You don't get a trial run.
Q: How are you going to deal with a child with a disability?
A: We will deal with it like any other family has had to learn to deal with one. There may be surgeries in our future. There will definitely be lots of therapy. As with my other children, you do what you have to do to get them the help they need. There are lots of unknowns, but the more I pray through them, the more I am comforted by The Father that life is one big unknown. We never know what is in store day to day with any situation. We just have to cling to the hope we are given by God and pray for the strength and guidance that only He can provide. We will be slower. We will be going less and staying home more. We will be learning as we go, like raising our other three kiddos. It will be an adventure, to say the least.
We are not so naive that we think it will all be perfect, and that there won't be really really hard things ahead. We do know that God's call cannot simply be ignored. We have followed His call before, and we have also NOT, and we can tell you that, on the other side of following Him (no matter how crazy it may sound) is a blessing that is more abundant than we can imagine. We pray that we are a blessing to him, but I have a feeling that he will bless and teach us all more than we could ever hope for.
Thank you again for your prayers and kind words. We are still looking at a timeline of late August to early September (maybe a bit earlier).